It may be that the pain, like an addiction, is so
overwhelming that we feel out of control. We may, in fact, be unable to control
the pain, but we do have a choice as to whether we move away from the pain or
move towards it. We do not need to choose one way as always right and the other
way as always wrong. One strategy may be best one day and the next day we might
do the opposite.
When the pain is too much to handle, then some relief gives
us space to rest and recuperate. But if we choose to numb our pain all the
time, we can end up in a closed and lonely world. If we choose to face our
pain, then we have the opportunity to understand its source and that helps us
to be more compassionate towards others who experience pain. Taking a zealous
attitude means we never give ourselves a break. We are propping up our egos
rather than finding ways to heal the pain.
We need to consciously decide to mask our pain when the
pain, for the moment, is too much. At the same time, we need to know that
blocking pain does nothing to remove the source of that pain. If we can, then
it is best to find ways to remove the pain altogether.
Finding Relief by Seeking Outside Help
Getting help from outside means getting help to relieve the
immediate pain. We also need help to get to the source of the pain, whether the
pain has a physical cause, because something is wrong with our bodies, or a
mental cause.
Getting help from outside is one way of developing our
wisdom minds. But at the same time, from our side we need to choose to be open
to being helped and we need to choose to take the medicine, to change the way
we do things. It also helps to apply some wisdom in choosing who to ask for
help.
Dissociating from Pain
We can get some distance from pain through blocking it or
dissociating from it. We do this by concentrating intensely so that the
awareness of pain cannot get through to our consciousness. Hypnosis is a good
example of dissociation. If we allow ourselves to go into a hypnotic trance,
then during the trance we are aware only of what is happening in our mind and
totally unaware of things happening around us. It is even possible to have
operations done under hypnosis without the use of any anesthetic.
There are many ways of keeping our mind so occupied that we
are unaware of the pain. This happens because our mind is limited in what it
can do, so if it is totally occupied with one thing, it can be totally unaware
of anything else. Kids in front of the TV can be like that. They just do not
hear their parents when they are called to dinner. Watching a good video,
reading a good book, playing a musical instrument, weeding the garden, knitting
. . . anything that does not require much in the way of a response from us can
be used in this way. It is mindfulness put to good use. We decide that we are
going to be mindful only of what we are doing and nothing else, including any
pain.
Using the Mind & Blocking Pain
A student in a workshop told me about her experience with blocking
pain. She had to have a deep splinter removed from her foot and the wound
stitched. The doctor advised anesthetics, but she refused because she had
previously reacted badly to them. To block the pain she concentrated very
strongly on a crack in the wall. Everything went well. She could feel that
there was something happening to her foot, but she did not allow herself to
identify with her foot. Then the nurse touched her and said, “Are you all
right, dear?” At that moment the student lost her concentration and the pain
came flooding back! She then had to concentrate even harder on the crack in the
wall to stop herself from feeling the pain.
Training in self-hypnosis or mindfulness can be helpful in
moving away from pain. Strong mindfulness, say, of a pleasant breeze, means
less space in the mind to be aware of pain. It is important to remember that
moving away from pain should never be your main strategy for dealing with pain.
We actually need pain to tell us what is wrong. We move away from pain to give
us a break when the pain has become too much.
