“One love, one heart,
one destiny.”
-Bob Marley
A silhouette of a human being stands before you.
Perhaps an old friend.
Perhaps a neighbor. Perhaps a
perfect stranger, like me.
Here are 11 things we all need you to keep in mind…
1. You never really know how much the people around you are
hurting. You could be standing next to
someone who is completely broken inside and you wouldn’t even know it. So never deprive someone of hope; it might be
all they have. And remember that there
are two ways to spread light in this world: You can either be a flame of hope,
or a mirror that reflects it. Be one of
the two every chance you get.
2. The most important trip you will likely take in life is
meeting others half way. You will
achieve far more by working with people, rather than against them. Giving someone else a voice, and showing them
that their ideas matter, will have a long-lasting, positive impact on the both
of you.
3. Relationships don’t create happiness, they reflect
it. Happiness is an inside job. Relationships are simply the mirrors of your
happiness; they reflect it and help you celebrate it. They are mirrors because they are a perfect
reflection of your thoughts and beliefs.
To reflect means to encourage you when you feel weak and challenge you
when you feel strong, thereby returning you to your center. And to celebrate is to share the natural ease
and joy of living from your center – of living in the now with clarity.
4. Compassion comes back around. The son who tends to his chronically ill
mother, ignoring his own exhaustion; the neighbor who gives a helping hand,
even as his own needs go unanswered; the one who donates a couple dollars to
someone in need, even if she has to break her last five dollar bill to do
it. Maybe you don’t hear the names of
these unsung heroes in the news, but surely the universe hears their names and
treats them accordingly.
5. Timing is everything.
There is a time for silence, a time to let go and allow your friends to
launch themselves into their own destiny, and a time to cheer for their
victories, or help them pick up the pieces, when it’s all over.
6. Actions are the loudest form of communication. What you do speaks so loud that others will
have a hard time hearing what you say.
So practice what you preach or don’t preach at all – walk the talk. And remember that there is often a major gap
between what someone says and what they do.
Characterize people by their actions and you will never be fooled by
their words.
7. A healthy relationship keeps the doors and windows
open. Plenty of air is circulating and
no one feels trapped. Relationships
thrive in this environment. Keep your
doors and windows open. If a person is
meant to be in your life, all the open doors and windows in the world won’t
make them leave.
8. People are more what they keep silent than what they
say. Pay attention to their quiet
gestures. If you cannot understand
someone’s silence, you will have a hard time understanding their words.
9. What others say and do is often based entirely on their
own self-reflection. When you have
people speaking to you who are angry and upset, and you nevertheless remain
very present and continue to treat them with kindness and respect, you place
yourself in a position of great power.
You become a means for the situation to be graciously diffused and
healed. A Zen teacher once said, “When
somebody backs themselves into a corner, look the other way until they get
themselves out; and then act as though it never happened.” Allowing people to save face in this way, and
not reminding them of what they already know is not their most intelligent
behavior, is an act of great kindness.
This is possible when we realize that people behave in such ways because
they are in a place of great suffering.
People react to their own thoughts and feelings and their behavior often
has nothing directly to do with you.
10. Sincerity is giving without expectation. Good character and true friendship is all
about how a person nurtures another person who is vulnerable and can give
nothing in return. So when you have been
through tough times and come out the other side, look around you. The people still standing beside you are your
true friends.
11. Not every relationship is meant to last forever. Some people aren’t meant to stay in your
life. Some people are just passing
through to bring you something – perhaps a lesson you need to learn, or memory
that makes you smile years later. When
the time comes, it’s okay to let go and move on with your life.
