The mind is a wonderful tool for thinking, but it has a dark
side. There is an aspect of the mind that is not useful but pretends to be
useful, which is called the egoic mind. It is the aspect of our mind that chats
with us as we move about our day. It is the "voice in our head," as
Eckhart Tolle calls it. Much of the time, this voice seems like our own
thoughts and our own voice, and we often express these thoughts (e.g., "I
love doing that!" "I can't wait until tomorrow." "I wonder
what will happen"). At other times, this voice is like the voice of a
parent or other authority figure or a friend (e.g., "You should try
harder." "Don't forget to take your vitamins." "Wouldn't it
be fun to try that!"). It may even seem evil or mean (e.g., "You
never do anything right. You're worthless. You might as well give up"). We
tend to take this voice seriously—we believe it, agree with it, and don't
question it. We believe it because we are programmed, or wired, to believe our
ow! n thoughts, regardless of whether they are true and helpful or not.
Not only do we
believe these thoughts, but we believe they are "ours." We identify
with them—we feel they reflect who we are. We don't tend to question our own
thoughts, although we readily question other people's thoughts, especially if
those thoughts are different from ours. But when we stop and examine what this
mental voice is saying, we discover a lot of contradictory advice,
misinformation, prejudices, judgments, and other negativity. This mental voice
is often unkind, belittling, fearful, self-doubting, judgmental, complaining,
confused, and unhelpful.
It turns out that the
voice in our head is not a very good guide to life, and yet we tend to accept
what it says and do what it suggests. This voice, in fact, is the cause of
human suffering. It fights life, rails against it, and is discontent and
afraid. It is the voice of the false self—the ego—not the true self. The
thoughts that arise in our mind cause every negative emotion we experience:
fear, guilt, anger, jealousy, shame, sadness, resentment, envy, hopelessness,
worthlessness, and depression. Without these thoughts, we would live in peace
within ourselves and in harmony with others. But you already know this, don't
you?
The funny thing is
that we can see the truth about the egoic mind and still be entranced by it,
still be mesmerized by it. The programming to pay attention to and believe this
aspect of the mind is very strong, and it takes not only seeing the truth about
it, but also a practice, as in meditation, of not giving our attention to this
mental voice before we gain enough distance from it to experience freedom and
the joy and peace of our true self, or Essence, as I like to call it.
The reason for moving
out of the egoic mind and into the Now is to experience who we really are. Our
thoughts represent the false self, the ego. In fact, all the false self is, is
thoughts. There is no substance, no thing, that is the false self—only
thoughts. The false self is made up of ideas about yourself: "I'm a woman,
I'm a mother, I don't like traveling, I'm middle-aged, I like blue, I'm
married, my father deserted me when I was young, I want to be a novelist, I'm
not pretty enough," and so on. Such ideas create an image and sense of
yourself, but you are not an image or even this sense of yourself. Images
aren't real or true. Feelings about yourself aren't even real or true, since
they are based only on thoughts, which aren't real or true. Who you really are
has nothing to do with any of these ideas, feelings about yourself, or stories
you tell about yourself.
