Five Simple Steps toward Inner Peace
WE HAVE TRIED to answer three important questions: What are
we doing here? How can we optimize life’s potential? And where does the
spiritual path actually go? Now we can think about how to actually implement
these ideas in our lives. What can we do on a daily basis that will bring us
forward to real satisfaction in life?
1) Meditate. Meditation is the age-old process of bringing
the mind to peace – to a state wherein the higher aspects of consciousness can
begin to be experienced.
We live in a state of constant chaos. At every moment we are
moving outwardly and our minds are racing inwardly.
Why? Why do we live this way? One answer is simply that we
don’t know any other way to be. We are trained in action and rewarded for it.
We know almost nothing of peace.
To learn something about inner peace we have to calm down.
We have to somehow slow the pace of our lives. We have to bring our minds and
bodies to rest – even for a brief period. Then we will begin to sense new
possibilities in life. Then we will begin to see that action is not the only
state of being… indeed action is a choice because we can be still.
How to slow down? The physical part is the easiest… and it
is difficult for many. Just sit down in a relaxed but alert position. Slumping
in an easy chair is no good – you will fall asleep. Rigid posture in a straight
chair can be equally problematic – this isn’t military school. The position you
are looking for is comfortable and alert. I find it best to sit on a desk chair
– toward the front of the seat with my thighs sloping downward and feet tucked
behind. Then my spine stands straight without support from the chair back.
Others use the chair back. I see they often fall asleep, so I prefer to let my
back hold itself up in a relaxed, balanced way. It is up to you to find a
balance between ease and effort, slouch and strain. The position I’ve described
is right between these extremes: relaxed and alert – fully awake. That is the
posture to find.
Once sitting comfortably, the next step is to breathe. In
and out; in and out. Of course we are all doing this all the time but usually
not in a relaxed way. See if you can really relax into the breath, letting it
start low in the abdomen. Breathe into your belly. Let the stomach relax.
Forget (if you can just for a moment) all our society’s messages about thin,
tight bellies and relax. Let the abdomen go limp and breathe into it.
This is the doorway to peace. The breath really is the key
to most meditation. To begin, simply try to relax and breathe. Let all the
muscles go. Feel the diaphragm drawing oxygen down into your lungs by
contracting naturally, with ease.
If you can do this for ten minutes twice a day, you will
begin to unwind. You will begin to have a sense of the possibility of peace.
You will surely leap up and resume your busy life, but for 20 minutes a day a
window will be open into a very different world.
2) Walk slowly. This is a wonderful practice. See if you can
get yourself to move from location to location with a degree of ease,
detachment and peace.
Normally most people walk as if “getting there” was really
important – so important that “getting there” – that is the process of moving –
should be minimized. “Get there a.s.a.p.” seems to be our motto. But why? Or
better still, why not enjoy the journey?
This, you will see, is a hard practice to master. The rush
to “get there” is so deep in most of us that we really can barely manage to
slow down even a little.
But try. Try to simply take one slow step and then another.
Feel the muscles working. See the things around you. Give yourself the
experience of being in motion. It is incredible to move through space. Try it.
Try to walk slowly and experience the journey.
3) Give time to others. This is another fairly difficult
practice for most of us. Giving money can be done quickly – just write the
check. Even giving blood doesn’t take all that long. But to simply give time to
appreciating another person is difficult indeed.
What do I mean by “appreciating another person?” Listening.
Watching. Being with them as they do or say whatever they want.
Attention from others is incredibly healing. With it we
center in our true selves. Without it we desperately seek it – often in
inappropriate ways.
We cannot demand attention from others – it has to be freely
given. So the best thing we can do for others is often simply to give them what
we know they want: our undivided attention.
You will find this is difficult because, as you give your
attention to others, your own need for attention will become conscious. It will
start to emerge into awareness and you may feel lots of pain.
This is not unusual or surprising. As children almost no one
received enough loving attention from their parents. We all learned one way or
the other that we weren’t going to have that need met, so we buried it. It has
lived on below awareness all these years usually showing itself only behind
masks of independence. This is a great tragedy. It has made us hard and
hurried. Much of our hurry is a rush to avoid this basic need for someone’s
loving attention.
Give someone your attention. Feel the feelings that arise.
And find ways to live with those feelings. Again, this is a demanding practice
but it leads to happiness.
4) Pay off all your debts. This may seem simple, but it
requires real inner strength. Debts come in lots of forms. Money is the most
obvious and really the least problematic. If I owe you a hundred or a million
dollars, we both know that and presumably have an agreement about a repayment
schedule. That will be resolved eventually because we both are aware of the
debt. The kind of debt that is more problematic is a debt of good will, a debt
of love.
Despite the imperfections of our past, most of us have
received a great deal from others. This may have come in the form of tangible
things or it may have come in the form of intangible things. All the gifts were
hopefully freely given, but maybe not. Maybe there are people out there who
feel that we have “taken” things from them and now want repayment. Look for
these people and see what you can do for them. It may be very little more than
saying “thank you.” It may be much more. But either way you will know what is
hoped for and have a chance to provide it.
How will this help you slow down? Again, what is keeping us
running? There are long lists in the recesses of our minds of things we need to
do. Unfortunately, we don’t see those lists clearly, but we know they’re there.
Thus, we run about doing something half consciously hoping that something will
satisfy the lists in our minds. It usually doesn’t. We usually do things that
are, at best, distantly related to what we really need to do. So think over
what you really need to do to be at peace and do it. That will help
immeasurably.
5) Finally I recommend reading great spiritual texts as a
means of bringing one’s life to a new peace and a new freedom. Remember,
freedom is one of the goals, one of the aspects of happiness. To be free we
have to understand all that binds us, and this is the real subject of most
spiritual texts.
Humanity is a species in bondage. We don’t realize this in
“free” countries, but it is still the case. We are addicted to so many thoughts
and behaviors that no rational person would call us “free.” What kinds of
thoughts? Thoughts of personal need, inadequacy and identity come immediately
to mind. From the spiritual perspective every thought is actually a “limiting
choice” – both words matter. Thoughts limit what we really are (more on that
later) and they are a choice; i.e. we can at least theoretically change our
thoughts. But ask yourself: are you free of your thoughts about your own
self-worth, the importance of your opinions, or the values you hold? “Of course
not,” is the honest answer for most of us. “If those thoughts changed, I would
no longer be me.” Precisely.
Remember we are here for change. This chapter suggests we
are too busy and we will be happier if we slow down. For the final time I’ll
ask, “What keeps us going so fast?” Answer: thoughts that we are not free from.
Getting truly free from deep thoughts is a long process and reading spiritual
books is a good part of that transition. Spiritual books tend to show us life
as it actually is, and that changes everything.
If you find yourself in a good spiritual bookstore, just
take a look at the titles. They may not tell you much, but as you read them
watch what happens inside. I predict you will begin to feel something: maybe
peace but probably anxiety. These books are powerful and their goal is to make
you happier than all the tropical vacations in the South Seas anyone ever had.
If you start reading spiritual books, you will expose
yourself to an entirely new way of understanding yourself. That will slow you
down. That will make you happy.
