Death is an important ally for appreciating life. I am not
referring to a morbid preoccupation with death. Rather, I mean the felt
awareness of our finitude as physical beings -- an honest recognition of the
short time we have to love and to learn on this earth. The knowledge that our
bodies will inevitably die burns through our attachments to the dignified
madness of our socially constructed existence. Death is a friend that helps us
to release our clinging to social position and material possessions as a source
of ultimate security and identity. An awareness of death forces us to confront
the purpose and meaning of our existence, here and now.
Those who have had near-death experiences confirm that
awareness of death can be an uncompromising friend, putting us back in touch
with what is most important. A common sentiment expressed by many near-death
survivors is a decreased emphasis on money and material things and a heightened
appreciation for nature and loving other people. Dr. Kenneth Ring, a researcher
of near-death experiences, quotes a young man who had a near-death experience
after a serious automobile accident. As a result the young man found that he
developed an "awareness that something more was going on in life than just
the physical part of it... It was just a total awareness of not just the
material and how much we can buy -- in the way of cars and stuff, or food or
anything. There's more than just consuming life. There's a point where you have
to give to it and that's real important."
Gandhi once said, "Just as one must learn the art of
killing in the training for violence, so one must learn the art of dying in the
training for non-violence." If we are to lead nonviolent and loving lives,
then we can begin by coming to terms with our own death. An appreciation that
we must die awakens us from our social sleep and to the reality of our
situation. Death is an unyielding partner in life -- an inescapable certainty
to push against as we sort out the significant from the trivial in our daily
lives. In this regard, consider the words of Nadine Stair of Louisville,
Kentucky, who was 85-years-old when she wrote, "If I Had My Life to Live
Over":
I'd like to make more mistakes next time. I'd relax. I would
limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer
things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and
swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have
more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones. . . . I've been one of
those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water
bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel
lighter than I have.
Finally, consider the wisdom from a now largely forgotten
book, written in the United States in 1877. In its closing pages "The
Royal Path of Life" describes a perspective on life that comes from an
appreciation of death. Although written in a style of gracious eloquence that
comes from an earlier era, it speaks plainly even today:
No sex is spared, no age exempt. The majestic and courtly
roads which monarchs pass over, the way that the men of letters tread, the path
the warrior traverses, the short and simple annals of the poor, all lead to the
same place, all terminate, however varied their routes, in that one enormous
house which is appointed for all living. . . . No matter what station of honor
we hold, we are all subject to death. . . . A proper view of death may be
useful to abate most of the irregular passions. Thus, for instance, we may see
what avarice comes to in the coffin of the miser; this is the man who could
never be satisfied with riches; but see now a few boards enclose him, and a few
square inches contain him. . . Behold the consequences of intemperance in the
tomb of the glutton; see his appetite now fully satiated, his senses destroyed
and his bones scattered.
These messages are clear. We cannot hide from death. Its
embrace will consume our social existence entirely. Job titles, social
position, material possessions, sexual roles and images--all must yield to
death. This does not mean that we should abandon our material and social
existence. Rather, it means that in consciously honoring the fact of our
physical death, we are thereby empowered to penetrate through the social
pretense, ostentation, and confusion that normally obscure our sense of what is
truly significant. An awareness of death is an ally for infusing our lives with
a sense of immediacy, perspective, and proportion. In acknowledging the reality
of death, we can more fully appreciate our gift of life.
If you were to choose death as an ally (as a reminder of the
preciousness of each moment), and if you were to choose the universe as your
home (as a reminder of the awesome dimensions of our existence), would a
quality of aliveness, immediacy, and poignancy naturally infuse your
moment-to-moment living? If you knew that you would die within several hours or
days, would the simplest things acquire a luminous and penetrating
significance? Would each moment become precious beyond all previous measure?
Would each flower, each person, each crack in the sidewalk, each tree become a
fleeting and never-to-be-repeated miracle? Simplicity of living helps brings
this kind of clarity and appreciation into our lives. In what ways is an
appreciation of death a helpful partner in your own life?
