To grow a strong self-trust branch that can stand up to
other people's opinions and society's judgments, that can release you from
making choices based on obligations and should and that can overpower the
forces of shame and fear when they arise, you need to have experiences over
time that show you that when you trust yourself, good things happen. You need
to be able to see that when you choose to trust your inner knowing, inner
voice, inner feeling, or image or dream that your Inner Wisdom shows you, not
only do good things happen, but also the best circumstances occur.
As you experience success with small things, you will start
to trust yourself with big things too. The small things may include instances
like making a different choice about which shoes to wear because, as you are
standing in your closet, a pair of shoes seems to jump out at you. Or like
choosing not to go to dinner with a friend because you feel a tightness in your
stomach that, when you ask yourself about it, seems to be telling you that you
won't have a good time or that you need to rest. And the big things could be
very big - like changing jobs, quitting a job, moving to a new city without
first finding a job there, ending a relationship, moving to a new country to
deepen a relationship, having a baby, not having a baby, getting married,
buying a house, and on and on. Life is full of big things, and the times when
they occur are the times you really need to cut through the external and
internal chatter to get to the wisdom you can trust.
Building self-trust happens in stages and over time, so make
sure that you strengthen your self-trust daily. Just as you wouldn't start
training for a marathon or a weight-lifting contest the day of the event (your
muscles wouldn't be able to support the task), you also don't want to wait
until the big stuff happens in your life before you strengthen your trust
"muscles." Most of us do wait, however. When our self-trust is weak,
and the hard, big or unexpected life stuff happens, we don't follow our hearts
and act in our own best interests, but instead succumb to fear, shame, societal
pressure, confusion, and obligation. We fail to follow our own guidance when we
need it the most.
But today marks a shift. Today you begin a lifetime
commitment to strengthening your self-trust and therefore your ability to trust
yourself and your Inner Wisdom no matter what. The more you practice trusting
your Inner Wisdom on the small stuff, the more you will trust yourself and act
in your own best interests in all matters in your life.
What follows are the four trust muscles you want to exercise
consistently and often. When you go to the gym to build strong, toned arms, you
don't focus only on your biceps. Similarly, strengthening your self-trust
requires strong mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical "muscles."
Use the following muscle-building exercises - which I invite you to begin
performing without delay - along with the Daring Acts of Love and special
trust-building resources to grow your self-trust branch super-strong.
