Women lie. Out of compulsion, to manipulate you, to
manipulate the situation, to salvage the relationship, to willingly destroy the
friendship, to be bitchy, to infuse some gossip and fun into an otherwise
mundane life.
No matter the reason, women lie. As do men, but for the
purpose of this article we’ll just stick to talking about the fairer sex. And
no, no lies will be mentioned here.
Here are five lies
that ALL women tell and very few own up to:
1. I am NOT mad at
you
Lie. Lie. Lie. The
moment she utters these words, the red flag, heck ALL the red flags you have,
must go up. A woman only ever says this when she is fuming with wrath; when she
is so angry with you that she wants to burn your sad soul and kick you right
into hell. You’d be safe if she is mad at you than when she is not. So, if she
isn’t mad at you, please do the needful and make sure she is absolutely mad at
you.
2. You were Great!
If you *actually*
were great, she wouldn’t necessarily say it. Instead she’d show you grateful
she is. So if she tells you how great you were and raves and rants about it,
chances are you were only but mediocre and she is just being nice.
3. Be honest, I can
take it
This particularly
statement is made after she asks you *that* question. The question being: Do I
look fat in this?
It’s a trap. A big
huge cage from which there is no escape. Any answer or no answer, you’re
destined to die out of misery in that cage.
The truth is she
cannot take your honesty and if you lie blatantly, she’ll catch you at it. So
the trick here is to be moderate in your response; not too flowery, not too
mean. Walk the tight-rope well and you might just manage to escape from the
cage. PS: No living man has yet managed this feat.
4. I’m not jealous
In reality, she is
jealous almost all the time. Jealous when you look at that girl walking by,
jealous when you talk too much to your friend who is a girl. In all honesty,
playful jealousy is fun, necessary even to keep the relationship going. So when
she says she is not jealous, smile and kiss her cheek. Forget being jealous,
she will just blush.
5. I never think of
my ex
Everyone thinks of their ex. At some point or the other, we
are driven back to times gone by because of a tune or a place or situation or a
conversation. It’s okay if she thinks about her ex once in a while, because it
is only normal to do so. And if she confesses to *never* thinking of her ex,
I’d say something is wrong with her and that you need to assess what that is.
